You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
~~Abraham Lincoln~~


Oh was today a crazy day! The last few days have been. But I woke up and decided that I needed to defriend some people on facebook. One being the absolute love of my life! WHY? you might ask?? Because, I think that is the only way I can let go of him and move on. I don't think he'll contact me for a while anyway. I called him out on some stuff and I think he has no defense so he's ignoring me. Although he did send me a few words today when I was having my tests done. I was cordial & said :Thank you" but then I said, now we can go back to not talking & he didn't say anything back. I appreciated that he acknowledged what I was going through, but whatever!!! I am so done, and the sad thing about it is, I told him he was pushing me to the point of no return, and I AM SO THERE! So, now it's time for me to cut my losses and move on..
That won't be a problem. I have a lot of work to do on me! My relationship with God, my daughter, my family & my friends. I have so many people in my life who make me a priority because I make them a priority. Now getting back to putting me as a first priority is going to be hard, it still is, I'm trying. I have been doing well on my diet. Although today I barely ate then I had some homemade chicken fettuccine. Yea, it had some grain, in the pasta. Ugh my biggest weakness, but I'm doing so much better than I was & I will get there! Going grain free is really hard, but it will come, because I did so great at the beginning of the year! We had a party at work and I had some spicy buffalo chicken dip with these weird chips. They were good though & I didn't have much.
I got to meet one of my colleagues from one of the manufacturers whose drugs we dispense through our pharmacy and there was nothing sweeter than getting a big hug from "JOE" and him not letting go! His Dad passed away a few weeks ago, and he was one of our patients & I got to know Joe really well because I always went out of my way to ask about his dad, not because I had too, but because I genuinely cared about him! I had sent a sympathy card on my own to him & it was a special card. And he just hugged me then held my hand & told me how much I meant to him & how glad he was to finally meet me! It was such a pleasure to meet him too though!  That was one of the highlights of my day! The other was my friend TJ, really supporting me while I was having my tests done today & he just kept keeping me stay focused & positive which I also appreciated.

TJ has become a really good friend to me, he has beat cancer 3 times. He is an amazing guy and I am so fortunate to call him my friend! When I told him about what was going on, he made sure to keep me laughing & told me, "Laughter was good for the soul"! He was right! It really helped! I am so blessed with the people who have come into my life through this job of mine! He is the one who also told me when I was complaining about allowing someone to hurt me so deeply. He said, "You can't change the past or how people treated you in the past.... Just make the future so meaningful that the past becomes less meaningful"...... That is what I have decided to do. I have got to do a lot of convincing at times because I am such a creature of habit, and I really hate change when it comes to relationships. I would rather settle then let go & move on... But not now, I am moving on... And in time, I will look back and realize that there was something to be learned from that failed relationship!  It hurts, no doubt, and I am sure I will have sleepless nights over it... But I have to keep my faith & know that God will bring me through those horrible painful times and just teach me what I need to learn and then I will be able to move on....

Ok, so today was not supposed to be all about my failed relationship, but I need to get it off my chest to be able to not sabotage myself! I'm not perfect. I have made mistakes and I have been hurt, but I have decided to pick myself up & Keep on going, because God has something so much better in store for me, for us! For Lexi & I! I think there are times that we all need to take responsibility for our failures in our lives, but we will never succeed if we don't fail & then pick ourselves back up & keep trying.

Well I am going to close this long winded post tonight. As you see, It really wasn't about my food. Some days it will, some days it won' t be, but most of the time, it's just about my life and what changes I need to make to be successful at this lifestyle change. And so far, I'm doing a pretty good job. I will take it "One day at a Time" like I do so many other aspects of my life.

Hope you all have a great evening and thanks for coming back..

Godspeed!!!
Jenn