You never really appreciate a thing until you have to give it up.
~ John Rhodes Sturdy


How Ironic that this saying was in my email this morning.
I try to find quotes that pertain to something I am going through or just could be inspiring.
How true is this saying though. In some cases it's about a person, or a thing, such a food. In my case, it is kind of about both...

Why is it, when we have to give something up, we want it that much more? Forget about just appreciating it. If it is a person, yes, we appreciate it so much more, but if it's food, I guess coming from the generation I did, I learned "You can't leave the dinner table until you clear your plate!" Or "Do you know how many people in Africa are starving? Finish all that's on your plate!"
Now, I'm not blaming anyone for the fact that I am overweight. It is a direct result of MY OWN Actions. I am in my 40's. I am old enough to  know better, old enough to stop putting things in my mouth that I know are not good for me. Yet, I still make the choice to put that cookie in my mouth, or have some chips, or ice cream, instead of an apple or an orange. But I have now, starting this week, gone back to having none of my trigger foods in the house. Triggers for me, are crackers mainly. If I have 1, I have to have a handful or more. My other trigger is Cheese doodles. Yes, that has been my choice of "Junk food" since I am a kid. So that is out of the house too, no more temptations.

I have to remember that I didn't gain weight over night, and I will not lose it over night. I have to stop beating myself up for things that go wrong in my life, and stop sabotaging myself. I made the commitment again, YES AGAIN, to really work hard and get my life back under control.
I have learned that I can fall 500 times, but it's getting back up for the 501st time that is what counts. I have to learn to get rid of the negative people in my life. I have so many wonderful people in my life that support me in ways that some people could not imagine, and that means more to me than you could know.

I am sitting here, at work, looking out the window, and one  minute it was pouring down rain, and the next, the sun is trying to come out. My weight loss is kind of like the weather. One minute is so on track, like the sun shining, and the next could be like a bad rainy day, blowing it 100%.
I have to remind myself that, that will happen some days, and I am not going to beat myself up, I'm going to stop, pray really hard, and ask God to continue to take this walk with me, because clearly I can not do this myself! I am not perfect, I have to stop trying to be perfect, and have to stop expecting other people to be perfect, because I am continuously disappointed by that, and that is why I have failed relationships, failed diets, failed lifestyle changes, failed lots of things, but as long as I notice that I have looked in all the wrong places, and start to get on the right track, I think I will be ok. Actually I KNOW I will be ok!

I usually only write once a day on my blog, but I had all this in my head and needed to get it out. So I will write more later this evening and let you know how my food is going.

I did really well with my food today. I had coffee this morning, and an orange and piece of string cheese. Then for lunch, I had a salad, with lettuce, apples, pecans, cheese, and craisins, I then topped it with Pomegranite vinegarette. It was so good. Then I had some chicken salad that was left over from dinner last night. That was really good. It was just chicken breast with mayo. I am still full from lunch, so I'm not having anything else right now.
I'm so tired. I think I'm just going to relax and watch some tv.

Hope you all have a great night!


Godspeed!
Jenn