Today, I choose the higher road  
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


I have had to choose the higher road this weekend. I am not going to get in to a bashing here on my blog, but this person hurt me so deeply. I am about as honest as they come. I am not perfect, and nor do I ever portray to be perfect. I don't expect much. But I expect honesty. I don't trust easily and when that wall is broken down which not many people can do, but this person was able too from day one. This person has damaged our relationship & friendship that I don't know if it can ever be repaired. That hurts me to say that, because just the day before, or even that morning, I was saying how I always wanted this person in my life, they were one of my best friends....
It was bad enough I was in pain from my back & emotional from lack of sleep. I was barely eating too. I did not eat a lot this weekend. The pain in my back has been so bad. I barely ate at all to be honest.
I was in too much pain to sit here last night & type, so that is why I skipped my posting yesterday.
But then when I got the news yesterday that this person broke my trust, I was literally sick over it. I couldn't eat, I was crushed. All I had yesterday was a cup of coffee, then I had a bowl of gluten free cereal. Then I had chicken & broccoli for lunch with cheese. And for dinner I had a few bites of pot stickers which Lexi & Sydney made. I have decided that I will do 100% grain free Monday through Friday & on the weekends, I'll do my best to stay as close to grain free as possible, but I will on occasion have a pasta meal on Sunday.
I went to bed early last night, but didn't fall asleep. Still not sleeping because of the back pain. Took 2 pain pills, no such luck in falling asleep, so I took 2 more about 3 hours later. It took me another hour to fall asleep.

Then today, I got up, had a cup of coffee, and then nothing for lunch, and one cup of spaghetti for dinner because that was the easiest thing for Lexi to make for dinner.
I have been drinking a lot of water, probably more than I usually do. But I'm trying to drink a lot of it.

Tonight, I sit here & think about all the people in my life who are in my life & supporting my journey here with this lifestyle change. And I am so grateful to you all. This is always going to be a battle for me. But I am taking it one day at a time. And just like my recovery with drugs, I am going to take this lifestyle change one day at a time and sometimes it's one minute at a time...

I am really not up to writing much more tonight. I'm going to head to bed.
One thing I have learned this weekend. I owe NO ONE ANYTHING... I owe MYSELF EVERYTHING! I deserve to be treated with the utmost respect, and peoples actions really speak volumes to who they are.

I did not sabotage myself which was really difficult but I didn't. I'm proud of that!!

Hope you all have a great evening!

Godspeed!
Jenn