If you want to improve your love life, improve how you love yourself. If you don't love yourself enough, you'll find ways not to find love. The love you have for yourself is in a way the only love you have in your life because all the other love is a mirror of it....(Prince Harming Syndrome) By Karen Salmansohn
Oh today is Monday! Why is it that no matter how many work days we have in a week especially if there is a holiday, Monday's are the worst? I'm so glad I only have to work 3 days this week! 1 down, 2 to go! Looking forward to a nice Thanksgiving with my friend Donna & her family. Something different for Lexi & I. We usually spend it with family, but this time, we decided to do something different. I am making sweet potato pie and Oreo truffles. I always make the desserts because I love watching people enjoy them, and I don't have to eat them. I may taste the sweet potato pie, but I don't eat the Oreo truffles anymore. Lexi & I decided that we are going to start some new traditions for ourselves as the New Year approaches. You will learn more about them, as the new year comes & starts to get going. Some really exciting changes are coming.
Well today was day 1 of my dieting, or should I say my lifestyle change. When I say dieting, it makes it so hard to stick to it. I had a cup of coffee for breakfast, because I can't eat before I leave for work. Then I had a protein bar mid morning. Lunch was really bad, I had a mini bag of crunchy cheese doodles, yes, I know, but then for afternoon snack I had Zone protein bar. For dinner I had a serving of rice, and a serving of grilled chicken with some sweet & sour sauce on the chicken. I decided that I was going to work into the no grain food because I need to get my portions back on track & measured. And let's face it, going from not watching what I was eating to no grain is more of a challenge. So, I really need to work on really cutting down & cutting back on things & if I want to eat something, I will have to work out a little harder.
I am not going to beat myself up over the cheese doodles. Not so bad for my first day. I know I need to put fuel in my body in the morning & that will come over the next few days. I am a meal skipper which is half my problem. If I could train myself to eat 3 meals a day I'd be so much better off. I think tomorrow I"ll make a few hard boiled eggs to have in the morning, then have some steamed veggies for lunch. I have to plan my meals during the day because if I don't, I'll never eat.
So, I posted 2 quotes at the top of my page. I always try to put at least one, but today, the 2nd one popped out at me of face book, so I decided to add it to this because I Struggle with loving myself. I can love other people, but loving myself has always been so hard! I mean, I Love myself, but we are our own worst critics so I guess I think at times that I don't love myself like I should. A big part of that is because what "I" see in the mirror. I have been told that I don't see what other's see and I Honestly don't. I think that is why I am so hard on myself. Also, why I ended up looking for love in all the wrong places, and settling on relationships that are not good for me. I guess while I am working on my head with my counselor, I'll be focusing more on getting myself healthier too. I know I can do this!!
I was watching something on tv about Eric Chopin one of the former Biggest Loser winners from back in 2006, and it was a whole documentary of how he had gained quite a bit of his weight back, and being disappointed in himself. He then went to my friend Eddie's boxing gym, The Long Island Boxing Gym. It was great to see Eddie really supporting him & being proud of Eric for coming to the gym again. Eric didn't go every day but he was trying to get back on track. I don't know when that was filmed, I'm thinking quite a while ago. But it made me realize that the quick fix Eric had on the Biggest Loser, didn't permanently fix what was going on in his head, which is why he didn't keep it off. I give him a lot of credit for doing the documentary. That had to be hard. Listening to his wife was so sweet because she loves him "NO MATTER WHAT" and that showed through the show. She was concerned that people would judge Eric & say bad things about him, and she knew there would be people who supported him and understood. I'm one of those people. I so get what he is going through! So may people judge others, I think we all do it. I try really hard not too, and my close inner circle, I don't judge but it's hard not to judge others at times. Although I try hard not too. I'm still guilty of it and I know people judge me without even knowing me. I think if I was thinner I would not be judged as harshly because that's the world we live in. People don't take my illnesses into account for some of my struggles. My bipolar 2, which is stress triggered, most times it's kept a bay, but there are times it's not because of the stress that is going on in my life. I also have hypo-thyroid and that in itself is so hard to control. When my thyroid is off, my weight doesn't come off, and that happens every few months and I get really tired, & discouraged and then the weight resurfaces, but I am really, really going to keep on fighting!!!
But let's face it, so many of us, who struggle with weight loss, start and do great, and when we get to a major goal, we tend to do something to sabotage ourselves. Not just the regular people, but many famous people. Look at Oprah, Carnie Wilson, so many others. It's a hard battle, but I'm going to keep fighting & if I fall, I will get back up & keep on fighting, keep on trying. Because I don't quit. And one of these days, I will succeed!!!
Well, it's been a long long day. Tomorrow's another day!
Hope ya'll have a great night!
Hope ya'll have a great night!
GodSpeed!
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