Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today and well many days I choose the higher road, because I could definitely be a witch if I wanted too, but I have tried to be a better person as I have gotten older. Some days it's so hard. I really want to tell some people how I really feel. But because my Mom always taught me, if you have "NOTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!" So, as hard as it is for me, I am so learning how to do that! NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL! WOW, ME! YES!!!!
I have been going through some major stuff the last few months. I lost someone close to me, not lost like death, but lost like, we no longer really talk. And as hard as it is for me not to talk to him like I used too. I have decided that I can no longer beat myself up & sabotage myself because I feel bad. That is something I have always done! I blame myself when something in a friendship doesn't work out! Then I realized, that ya know what? If I was his friend at all, he'd have cared enough about me, to be honest with me. Ummmm yea, be honest! I pride myself on being honest with people, but I have not told him how I really feel & how hurt I am that he just threw our friendship away. But that is his choice and I will NEVER beg anyone to be my friend! End of story!!! I can love my friends & do anything for anyone I Care about, but cross me, hurt me, and I am like my dad, I can cut someone out of my life and act like I don't care, when in essence I do, it's my defense mechanism! It's how I protect myself! But I realized with this friend, he reminded me of a guy from my past, a guy who was my best friend, that I shared everything with, and I know I expected way too much from this friendship, but he also let me feel like I could trust him, so I did, and now like I said, we barely speak! Unless we have too, or unless we pass each other! It's hard when  you see someone most every day!!! UGH!!!

Today, I decided NO MORE! I am going to try to not feel bad, try to not continue to sabotage myself, I need to look at myself in the mirror and know that I did nothing wrong, and keep going! Get back on track and put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going. I'm not nor have I ever let one person ruin all my hard work! So I am refocused and getting stronger, and will get stronger every day!

I had my shake this morning, which I made with the lite/low sugar chocolate, and peanut butter, it held me from 7am until lunchtime at 1:30 when I Finally sat down to eat! Then I ate a salad with grilled chicken in it. Then during the day I had half a protein bar. Went to dinner and had half a chicken cutlet, and half a portion of spaghetti. I also did eat a canoli! I promised myself if I wanted something, I would eat it. Just not over eat things! I Think because I cut EVERYTHING out, that it made it so hard for me to stay on it when life got tough!
Well I am tired, and heading to bed. Going to finish my glass of wine, then call it a night!

Hope you all have had an awesome evening!

God speed!

Jenn