Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want.
It is the belief that God will do what is right.
~Max Lucado~
I know for me, sometimes that is a hard quote to believe. I know that God will do what is right, but sometimes, I just him to give me what I want. Why can't it be that simple? Yes, I know he does what is right, but really, why can't what is right, be what I want? Sometimes it is, but most times, it's not! And when I'm in the moment, I can't always see it, but as time goes on, and my life has moved into the direction that God has wanted it to move, I see everything unfold, and then I say...."OH THANK YOU GOD, FOR NOT GIVING ME WHAT I WANTED!"
He has shown me so many different things in my life, I look back and think, if God had given me what I wanted, OH BOY, I'd have been miserable. God has really taught me patience over the last year. Taught me that sometimes when you want something bad enough, we have to wait for it. No matter what that "Thing" may have been. Patience is not something that comes easy for me. I want to blink my eyes & be thin, after all, I blinked and put on weight! Well it seems like it! Does it seem like that for you?
I feel like there has to be an easy way. If it's so easy to put weight on, can someone tell me WHY? Why it's so hard to take it off? Is it to make us work hard so we won't put it back on? Because honestly, that doesn't work for me? I feel like I can look at food & gain 5 lbs. LOL I know, I know, that's not how it happens, but why can't I be the kind of person that eats what I love, and not gain any weight? How come so many people have that metabolism that they can just eat whatever they want, and they don't gain an ounce? Any answers to that?
I eat a well balanced diet on the weekend. And eat good portions too.
During the week, I drink my shakes, but my weekends are mine to eat healthy and I sleep longer so I am not eating or drinking as much. I will probably have a shake for lunch today though, since I am slow moving today. I did have 2 pancakes for breakfast with my coffee because I had 2 for lunch yesterday. So, since they were left over, I ate them today. I am learning to eat slower, and less. I'm eating on a smaller plate. I know that is a big part of it too. Portion control. Last night I had made the best dinner. I had rib eye steak and mixed veggies, they were so good. But for some reason, red meat just kills my stomach!
Starting tomorrow, I am going back on 100% grain free and drinking my shakes, I think the grain in my diet, having a sandwich every now & then is still too much for my stomach. Pasta, definitely a no, I love pasta. But I have got to get a grip and get back with the program, so I'm thinking doing grain free foods, and drinking my shakes will help me lose weight faster & I will feel better too.
Lexi spent the night at a friends house & I need to pick her up in 1 1/2 hours and I need to get my butt off this couch. I have been here all day. Time to get moving. I took the dog out earlier, and happen to look towards my backyard & saw that my trash went all over my yard & my neighbors yards, so I was out there picking it all up! YUK! It was gross! It is hotter than Haiti out there again today, so I am going to do house stuff! Need to strip beds, and do laundry! Everything I have put off all weekend! UGH!!!! Monday comes way to quickly! But oh well, so grateful to have a job!
I am hoping Lexi will want to make homemade sauce today for my final pasta dish! I love her homemade sauce! No one makes better sauce than her, not even me! And it's all healthy too! Which is great!!!
Well I hope you all have a great day!
God Speed!
Jenn
Jenn's Lifestyle Change
Jenn
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Love is when the other person's happiness
is more important than your own.
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.~
Intense love does not measure, it just gives.
~Mother Theresa~
So tonight I posted 2 different quotes. I have been struggling with this one. Love is something that does not come easy for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I love my puppy, I Love my family & of course Love my friends. But falling in love is not something that comes easy for me. Why? you might be asking?? Well because of a lot of things. I guess I have never felt worthy. I know many of you probably think it's stupid. But really, it's not. It's weird, my parents have been very supportive of me, but for some reason, I always felt like I needed their approval for so many things, and let's be honest, like most kids, I didn't get it. Because I made some really dumb NO STUPID Choices. But they were always there & always loved me. But I always felt like I was not enough for anyone. Not good enough. Being damaged goods, having been through what I have in my life, "I" Labeled myself "as damaged goods". I have always allowed others to give me scraps of their love, and always accepted it because it's what I always felt like I deserved that. SCRAPS!!!! Why? I deserve so much more than that.
Bare with me, this is going to get into my eating, & all that, I promise.
I asked a very good married, male friend of mine a question today. I wanted to know WHY, Married men always seek me out? What is it about me, that makes a man think that is ok? And he gave me a little bit of insight. & Not that it makes it ok, because it is not. And this man, is JUST A FRIEND, there was never anything between us, other than friendship, but I'm only going to share a little of it though, not the entire thing, because it's more complicated than I care to explain. He said if a married man is lonely, and I am available, and there is an attraction, he is going to pursue me. Any man will, but a married man, will because I am confident, attractive and he listed a whole bunch of other things, but he got me with the first 2 that I barely heard the other compliments! LOL
So, why do I not see that about myself? As confident as I come off, I can be very insecure behind closed doors. I don't like people to see the insecure me. That is a part, that tends to show when someone really gets to know me. SO, he listed things that any man would find about me, but the loneliness and not getting at home, what they could get from me, attention and all that, is a big key factor. I have never gone with any friends husbands, or boyfriends, or anything like that. This is just the luck I seem to have. Which leads me to my self confidence. I feel like I deserve crumbs so I take a married man and don't care when I find out because I have such a fear of commitment, I guess. I think it's because I feel (in my head) that I deserve that.
And when I Find out a man is married, I settle and accept it. My struggle is, I really know I want more than that. I want someone to love me completely. I really do, I know that sounds so contradictory but it's the truth. But when I get hurt, because things have not gone the way I want, I find 100 reasons to wallow in my sorrows and go off my diet, off my lifestyle change, off my exercise routine. And then I head back into the land of the "Starting to gain weight" again, but I have caught myself this time.
I am not going to allow anyone to make me feel like I deserve crumbs. I deserve to be treated with a lot of respect & care. I need to remind myself when I start to slip, that it's ok to make mistakes, but I have to stand my ground and not let anything else get in the way.
This is something I have to work on every day. I have a lot of butterfly tattoo's and that is because, after Scott died, I decided I needed to come out of my cocoon, and let myself grow as a woman, a single Mom. Because I had been alone for so long after he died, that I wanted a symbol to remind myself that I deserve so much more, I need to see that I am that beautiful butterfly after the cocoon is gone.
So, I'm going to work on that over the next few weeks and really remind myself that I need to stay focused on me, because without that, I will not succeed in my weight loss. My weight has always been my shield, and I in my head think it will keep men away, and it doesn't. Men my age, look past that. They see what's on the inside. Which I am glad, because I need to see that, now, if I could only make better choices, smarter choices.
So today, I had coffee for breakfast, a cup of garden pasta for lunch, and then a shake for dinner. Now I'm kicking back and having some wine while I am watching the opening to the Olympics with Lexi! It's amazing! They are singing an anthem in sign language, it was really good! :-)
Well I'm going to kick back & enjoy this tonight with Lexi. I hope you all have a great evening.
I'm sorry, my post again, is a little all over the place with my feelings, I'm trying to type and really search inside myself what I am feeling, so sometimes, it makes sense to no one else but me.
I think Monday, I am not only going to do the shakes, I'm going to go 100% back on the no grain again! I felt so much better doing that.
Thank you to my friend, for your honesty today and helping me to understand maybe why someone who is married, may seek me out after meeting me. Your friendship is so important to me and I so appreciate it!!! Love you bro!!!
God Speed!
Jenn
is more important than your own.
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.~
Intense love does not measure, it just gives.
~Mother Theresa~
So tonight I posted 2 different quotes. I have been struggling with this one. Love is something that does not come easy for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I love my puppy, I Love my family & of course Love my friends. But falling in love is not something that comes easy for me. Why? you might be asking?? Well because of a lot of things. I guess I have never felt worthy. I know many of you probably think it's stupid. But really, it's not. It's weird, my parents have been very supportive of me, but for some reason, I always felt like I needed their approval for so many things, and let's be honest, like most kids, I didn't get it. Because I made some really dumb NO STUPID Choices. But they were always there & always loved me. But I always felt like I was not enough for anyone. Not good enough. Being damaged goods, having been through what I have in my life, "I" Labeled myself "as damaged goods". I have always allowed others to give me scraps of their love, and always accepted it because it's what I always felt like I deserved that. SCRAPS!!!! Why? I deserve so much more than that.
Bare with me, this is going to get into my eating, & all that, I promise.
I asked a very good married, male friend of mine a question today. I wanted to know WHY, Married men always seek me out? What is it about me, that makes a man think that is ok? And he gave me a little bit of insight. & Not that it makes it ok, because it is not. And this man, is JUST A FRIEND, there was never anything between us, other than friendship, but I'm only going to share a little of it though, not the entire thing, because it's more complicated than I care to explain. He said if a married man is lonely, and I am available, and there is an attraction, he is going to pursue me. Any man will, but a married man, will because I am confident, attractive and he listed a whole bunch of other things, but he got me with the first 2 that I barely heard the other compliments! LOL
So, why do I not see that about myself? As confident as I come off, I can be very insecure behind closed doors. I don't like people to see the insecure me. That is a part, that tends to show when someone really gets to know me. SO, he listed things that any man would find about me, but the loneliness and not getting at home, what they could get from me, attention and all that, is a big key factor. I have never gone with any friends husbands, or boyfriends, or anything like that. This is just the luck I seem to have. Which leads me to my self confidence. I feel like I deserve crumbs so I take a married man and don't care when I find out because I have such a fear of commitment, I guess. I think it's because I feel (in my head) that I deserve that.
And when I Find out a man is married, I settle and accept it. My struggle is, I really know I want more than that. I want someone to love me completely. I really do, I know that sounds so contradictory but it's the truth. But when I get hurt, because things have not gone the way I want, I find 100 reasons to wallow in my sorrows and go off my diet, off my lifestyle change, off my exercise routine. And then I head back into the land of the "Starting to gain weight" again, but I have caught myself this time.
I am not going to allow anyone to make me feel like I deserve crumbs. I deserve to be treated with a lot of respect & care. I need to remind myself when I start to slip, that it's ok to make mistakes, but I have to stand my ground and not let anything else get in the way.
This is something I have to work on every day. I have a lot of butterfly tattoo's and that is because, after Scott died, I decided I needed to come out of my cocoon, and let myself grow as a woman, a single Mom. Because I had been alone for so long after he died, that I wanted a symbol to remind myself that I deserve so much more, I need to see that I am that beautiful butterfly after the cocoon is gone.
So, I'm going to work on that over the next few weeks and really remind myself that I need to stay focused on me, because without that, I will not succeed in my weight loss. My weight has always been my shield, and I in my head think it will keep men away, and it doesn't. Men my age, look past that. They see what's on the inside. Which I am glad, because I need to see that, now, if I could only make better choices, smarter choices.
So today, I had coffee for breakfast, a cup of garden pasta for lunch, and then a shake for dinner. Now I'm kicking back and having some wine while I am watching the opening to the Olympics with Lexi! It's amazing! They are singing an anthem in sign language, it was really good! :-)
Well I'm going to kick back & enjoy this tonight with Lexi. I hope you all have a great evening.
I'm sorry, my post again, is a little all over the place with my feelings, I'm trying to type and really search inside myself what I am feeling, so sometimes, it makes sense to no one else but me.
I think Monday, I am not only going to do the shakes, I'm going to go 100% back on the no grain again! I felt so much better doing that.
Thank you to my friend, for your honesty today and helping me to understand maybe why someone who is married, may seek me out after meeting me. Your friendship is so important to me and I so appreciate it!!! Love you bro!!!
God Speed!
Jenn
Thursday, July 26, 2012
We can always choose to perceive things differently.
You can focus on what's wrong in your life,
or you can focus on what's right.
~Marianne Williamson~
I did pretty well with my food today. I had my shake this morning. Some days I'm finding it hard to drink two, not because I don't like them, because they fill me up so much. Which is definitely a good thing. I am not eating nearly as much as I probably should, but that's ok. There are several days of the week that I do drink 2. I try to have them for breakfast & lunch. But I drink one at 8, and then I go to lunch at 1, and may days I am not even hungry by 1. Which I don't think is a bad thing. Today, I had a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I had some left over spaghetti for dinner. Not a lot, but enough to just hold me over so I was no longer hungry.
I picked Lexi up from church as her youth group went to the beach today. She had a great time, but got way too much sun. She definitely keeps getting redder & redder as the night goes on.
I got some exercise today. Went for a walk for over an hour. I walk almost every day at some point in the day. Sometimes right after work.
I hurt my foot, I have a huge gash in the bottom of my foot, and it's getting worse.
Today was a good day at work. Then I got in a funky mood. Realized that we are approaching the 15th anniversary of my husbands death. God, it's been so long since he died. It makes me so sad to think of all he has missed in our lives, especially Lexi. She is an amazing young lady. I know he'd be proud. Cause I am so proud of her. I don't think she gets how proud I really am of her! She is not perfect, and I don't expect her to be. She thinks I do, but I think she'll get that when she grows up & has kids of her own. I just want what's best of her!
I also started to reflect on how life has changed. The Internet has taken off, and now there's facebook, and blogging and all kinds of technology, cell phones, are not just cell phones, they are smart phones. Life has changed so much. We used to have pagers, and pay phones, and house phones. Many people no longer have house phones either. It's kind of funny how many things have changed. It's so hard raising a child today in this ever changing world.
Well my day in a nutshell!
Hope you all have a great evening.
God Speed.
Jenn
You can focus on what's wrong in your life,
or you can focus on what's right.
~Marianne Williamson~
I did pretty well with my food today. I had my shake this morning. Some days I'm finding it hard to drink two, not because I don't like them, because they fill me up so much. Which is definitely a good thing. I am not eating nearly as much as I probably should, but that's ok. There are several days of the week that I do drink 2. I try to have them for breakfast & lunch. But I drink one at 8, and then I go to lunch at 1, and may days I am not even hungry by 1. Which I don't think is a bad thing. Today, I had a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. I had some left over spaghetti for dinner. Not a lot, but enough to just hold me over so I was no longer hungry.
I picked Lexi up from church as her youth group went to the beach today. She had a great time, but got way too much sun. She definitely keeps getting redder & redder as the night goes on.
I got some exercise today. Went for a walk for over an hour. I walk almost every day at some point in the day. Sometimes right after work.
I hurt my foot, I have a huge gash in the bottom of my foot, and it's getting worse.
Today was a good day at work. Then I got in a funky mood. Realized that we are approaching the 15th anniversary of my husbands death. God, it's been so long since he died. It makes me so sad to think of all he has missed in our lives, especially Lexi. She is an amazing young lady. I know he'd be proud. Cause I am so proud of her. I don't think she gets how proud I really am of her! She is not perfect, and I don't expect her to be. She thinks I do, but I think she'll get that when she grows up & has kids of her own. I just want what's best of her!
I also started to reflect on how life has changed. The Internet has taken off, and now there's facebook, and blogging and all kinds of technology, cell phones, are not just cell phones, they are smart phones. Life has changed so much. We used to have pagers, and pay phones, and house phones. Many people no longer have house phones either. It's kind of funny how many things have changed. It's so hard raising a child today in this ever changing world.
Well my day in a nutshell!
Hope you all have a great evening.
God Speed.
Jenn
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
A hero is an ordinary individual
who finds the strength to persevere
and endure in spite of overwhelming
obstacles.
~Christopher Reeve~
I am sitting here this evening and thinking about all that I have to be thankful for. I have so much love & Support from the people around me. I have heard so much death lately. Between my friend losing her son in a tragic accident with a tractor trailer at the young age of 25, and then another friend's son, losing a friend although I am not sure how. But before that the Colorado shooting during the movie Dark Knight Rises. What causes people to do such horrible things like a shooting full of innocent people in a movie theater? It's crazy! It makes me think more & more what in the hell is this world coming too? My life is not easy. It's stressful at times, and being a single Mom can be harder than hell at times, but I get to wake up every day and have a good life. I love my daughter! She is truly an amazing young lady. We are not perfect and definitely don't have a prefect life. We have a friend living with us, which is awesome & we wouldn't change that for anything in the world. She is a true friend to Lexi & I. I like that Lexi calls her Mama Susie, just because she knows that it cracks Susan up! LOL Susan, doesn't have kids, and she adores Lexi probably as much as Lexi adores her. And I think, how incredibly blessed I am, and how are there people in the word that could take lives, multiple lives? It's just crazy. I think that could have been my family & friends in that theater and it makes me so sad. Ugh
Ok, enough on that. I could go on & on, on that topic.
Now to my food. I had my 2 shakes today, one for breakfast & one for lunch. I made chocolate & peanut butter. I love it! That is one of my favorite flavors of shake. I also had a cup of grilled chicken with my shake, nothing else, just grilled chicken. I did not have enough calories yesterday so I had to make sure I got some more food in my day. And for dinner, I had 2 chicken enchiladas that Lexi made. She had started to make rice but ended up burning it, so we just had the enchiladas.
Today was a good day at work. My good friend Donna came back & Loved her decorations around her cubicle. I have to take pic's of it, I totally forgot. I am pretty proud of myself, it came out really good! I also brought in some of my friend Joe's cupcakes, she wanted lemon with lemon cream cheese. She said they were delicious. She had saved me one, but I was training someone today so I gave it to her. I didn't need it anyway. I was happy to share it with her.
I got my seat moved at work today. I am 1 of 10 people whose seats got changed, or are getting changed. I didn't think I was going to really like it, but to be honest, I do. I am away from everyone, in the corner in front of my director which most would take like it's a punishment. I found the good. It's quiet, no distractions, except maybe staring out the window from time to time!
Well, I have rambled this evening. Feeling like I have a lot to say! LOL
So, I mentioned to my friend Mary Anne last night after she asked if I was still doing the kick boxing class? Well I really liked the Box 2 Be Fit booty class. But I did NOT like the owner! HE is a real pom pass! For real. He was a complete ASS!! So I decided I was not going to give him my money when he treated me like crap! The woman who taught the class left for a while, and I think that she is going to be coming back, and a part of me thought about joining her class again, but I am not. I am NOT giving that man a penny!
Eventually I will join a gym when I can afford it, in the mean time, I'll go for long walks, and keep doing what I am doing. I am really liking the shakes I am drinking and feeling less bloated than I was a few weeks ago.
I am going to get ready for bed. It's been a stressful few days.
Please pray for my friend Denise who lost her 25 year old son so tragically, and for her family. I am just heart broken for her. And then for the other family of my lifelong friend Jim. And of course for all the families that were affected by the Colorado shooting.
Hope you all cherish who is in your life. If you haven't told them lately, how much you love them, take the time to tell them. They just may not be there tomorrow if you let that moment go! & NEVER take anyone for granted!!!
God Speed!
Jenn
Monday, July 23, 2012
The mind is like a parachute.
It doesn't work unless it's open.
Why can't we just have longer weekends? I am not a fan of Monday's at all! If I could have one extra day off that would be perfect, but I'm sure I would still want more. Would you? I slept like crap last night, realized it was probably because I didn't have a glass of wine last night. My nightly ritual. So that I can relax & go to sleep.
Today went by pretty quickly which is surprising since I was so tired. And it was a hot day too! I sat outside with Susan during lunch today. We caught up since she didn't stay a lot last week because her husband was out of town last week & she had to drive all the way home. She lives 1 1/2 hours from here & that is why she stays with us during the week most nights. Both Lexi & I enjoy her company. The only night she stayed last week, I ended up going on a date. What a waste of a night that ended up being. Nice guy at first, not my cup of tea by the time we were ready to go on a 2nd date. I am one who can NOT be controlled, and he thought he was going to try! NOT!!! So not who I am! I have done what I want all these years, and no one is going to come in & question my life, and what I do. And accuse me of things that I am not doing! Can you say INSECURE? NOT ME EITHER! LOL Oh well. His loss. He tried to make me feel like he was all that & I was lucky to be going out with him. I decided that I Definitely didn't want to hang out with him again. NO MAN has ever made me feel like I should be thankful that he was dating me or taking me out. FORGET THAT! Just sayin.....
Ok, now on to my food today. I had 2 shakes today, one was with strawberry flavoring, and one was with orange, the strawberry one was like having 50 strawberries, and the orange one, well I'm not sure how many that was supposed to be, but they were good, and 95 calories each because I made them with water instead of 1% milk. It was great! I liked them so that was good, having less calories. I drank them for breakfast & lunch and then I had 1/2 a protein bar for a snack. Oh & I also had a few sea salt pita chips. Then for dinner I had a chicken salad sandwich. And now my wine as I sit here 7 watch the Bachelor Pad. Not enjoying it, but don't feel like trying to find the remote control, so I am writing my blog now, and not really paying attention to it.
So I'm thinking I didn't eat enough calories today. I definitely need to step that part up tomorrow.
Lexi is having a great time at the ball game with Susan and Larry. I am enjoying some quiet time again, even though I had it Friday night, having a few hours tonight is nice. I'm waiting for my neighbor to come home and drop off my friends cupcakes that I ordered for her birthday.
Nothing else is going on here.
I hope ya'll have a great evening!
God Speed!!
Jenn
It doesn't work unless it's open.
Why can't we just have longer weekends? I am not a fan of Monday's at all! If I could have one extra day off that would be perfect, but I'm sure I would still want more. Would you? I slept like crap last night, realized it was probably because I didn't have a glass of wine last night. My nightly ritual. So that I can relax & go to sleep.
Today went by pretty quickly which is surprising since I was so tired. And it was a hot day too! I sat outside with Susan during lunch today. We caught up since she didn't stay a lot last week because her husband was out of town last week & she had to drive all the way home. She lives 1 1/2 hours from here & that is why she stays with us during the week most nights. Both Lexi & I enjoy her company. The only night she stayed last week, I ended up going on a date. What a waste of a night that ended up being. Nice guy at first, not my cup of tea by the time we were ready to go on a 2nd date. I am one who can NOT be controlled, and he thought he was going to try! NOT!!! So not who I am! I have done what I want all these years, and no one is going to come in & question my life, and what I do. And accuse me of things that I am not doing! Can you say INSECURE? NOT ME EITHER! LOL Oh well. His loss. He tried to make me feel like he was all that & I was lucky to be going out with him. I decided that I Definitely didn't want to hang out with him again. NO MAN has ever made me feel like I should be thankful that he was dating me or taking me out. FORGET THAT! Just sayin.....
Ok, now on to my food today. I had 2 shakes today, one was with strawberry flavoring, and one was with orange, the strawberry one was like having 50 strawberries, and the orange one, well I'm not sure how many that was supposed to be, but they were good, and 95 calories each because I made them with water instead of 1% milk. It was great! I liked them so that was good, having less calories. I drank them for breakfast & lunch and then I had 1/2 a protein bar for a snack. Oh & I also had a few sea salt pita chips. Then for dinner I had a chicken salad sandwich. And now my wine as I sit here 7 watch the Bachelor Pad. Not enjoying it, but don't feel like trying to find the remote control, so I am writing my blog now, and not really paying attention to it.
So I'm thinking I didn't eat enough calories today. I definitely need to step that part up tomorrow.
Lexi is having a great time at the ball game with Susan and Larry. I am enjoying some quiet time again, even though I had it Friday night, having a few hours tonight is nice. I'm waiting for my neighbor to come home and drop off my friends cupcakes that I ordered for her birthday.
Nothing else is going on here.
I hope ya'll have a great evening!
God Speed!!
Jenn
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
~Sydney Harris~
So I have been really busy & didn't get to write last night. I went out on a date, and it went pretty well last night, not sure what happened today, but I have decided not to go out with him tonight. I had my good friend over and we got to sit & catch up. Which is what I needed, to stay home, decompress from my long week. Oh it was a long one & I am so looking forward to sleeping in, in the morning.
I had a Body by Vi party last night with shake tasting, it went well. I'm hoping that I will be able to get some more friends on it eventually when they see how much better I am doing on this program. It is really good! I am full after drinking my shakes so that is a total plus.
I weighed myself yesterday and was down 4 lbs, of the 5 lbs I have gained, so that is a huge plus! SO SO HAPPY!!! Feeling better about myself again. I have some of the most amazing friends. Your support means more to me than you know.
I know I didn't gain this weight over night, so I know it won't come off overnight, although I wish there was a magic pill to take that would make that happen! NO SUCH LUCK RIGHT NOW! LOL
Things are definitely starting to turn around for me. Although work has been really busy, I love talking with patients every day! They make me realize how lucky I am to have my health and how I shouldn't sweat the small stuff! I believe that if someone makes you unhappy, you should let them go, if someone makes you happy, keep them around! But any relationship is not perfect and there are some that need to be worked on a bit, but anything worth having is a work in progress. Oh a work in progress, my life always seems to be a work in progress. I believe that at some point, life will turn around for me! I know anything worth having, is worth fighting for, that includes a rockin' body! Some day I'll have a rockin' body, until then, I'm very happy with who I am, and where I have been and where I am today! And I am constantly reminded & GOD continues to show me what I should & should not allow in my life! Yea, I'm a continous work in progress!
Well it's late, and I am exhausted, I'll be back tomorrow!
Hope ya'll have a great evening.
God speed!
Jenn
~Sydney Harris~
So I have been really busy & didn't get to write last night. I went out on a date, and it went pretty well last night, not sure what happened today, but I have decided not to go out with him tonight. I had my good friend over and we got to sit & catch up. Which is what I needed, to stay home, decompress from my long week. Oh it was a long one & I am so looking forward to sleeping in, in the morning.
I had a Body by Vi party last night with shake tasting, it went well. I'm hoping that I will be able to get some more friends on it eventually when they see how much better I am doing on this program. It is really good! I am full after drinking my shakes so that is a total plus.
I weighed myself yesterday and was down 4 lbs, of the 5 lbs I have gained, so that is a huge plus! SO SO HAPPY!!! Feeling better about myself again. I have some of the most amazing friends. Your support means more to me than you know.
I know I didn't gain this weight over night, so I know it won't come off overnight, although I wish there was a magic pill to take that would make that happen! NO SUCH LUCK RIGHT NOW! LOL
Things are definitely starting to turn around for me. Although work has been really busy, I love talking with patients every day! They make me realize how lucky I am to have my health and how I shouldn't sweat the small stuff! I believe that if someone makes you unhappy, you should let them go, if someone makes you happy, keep them around! But any relationship is not perfect and there are some that need to be worked on a bit, but anything worth having is a work in progress. Oh a work in progress, my life always seems to be a work in progress. I believe that at some point, life will turn around for me! I know anything worth having, is worth fighting for, that includes a rockin' body! Some day I'll have a rockin' body, until then, I'm very happy with who I am, and where I have been and where I am today! And I am constantly reminded & GOD continues to show me what I should & should not allow in my life! Yea, I'm a continous work in progress!
Well it's late, and I am exhausted, I'll be back tomorrow!
Hope ya'll have a great evening.
God speed!
Jenn
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
~Unknown~
Today was one of the longest days ever! Work, OMG, was not bad, but it was not the greatest either. I can't say that one specific thing happened. It was just an off day. I ended up not being in the best of moods towards the end of the day. I guess that happens sometimes but I especially hate it when I am like that! I love my patients very much and never get impatient with them. They remind me every day how incredibly blessed I am with all that I have in my life.
So, today, I got up early enough to make my shakes for breakfast & lunch. I also had a half salad from Wendy's for lunch. Then for dinner I went to Jd's Tavern and hand chicken fajitas with green peppers! OMG they were awesome! I ended up not eating them in the wraps, I only had 2 in wraps and then I ate the chicken & peppers & put the lettuce & cheese & sour cream on it and ate it like that! It was awesome! I met a really nice guy there. His name is Kevin. He works during the day but he works there at night as a bartender & is a waiter once a week. He has 2 kids and was so incredibly sweet to me, and when I got my check, his business card was in there & I jokingly said, oh, I guess that's a hint that you want my #? He said of course, and made me write my number down. HE was so sweet, he kissed my hand when I went to leave. He kept coming over & talking to Sue & I! It was so fun! He really was a funny guy! He thought I was 35. He is 42. He swore he was older than me, I said, NO, I'm older than you! But at least it's only 2 years.
Well, we'll see if he calls! I'd love to hang out with him, he was that funny. He did invite Sue & I back to have a drink on him next week when he is tending bar, so we may go back. We'll see if I Hear from him in the mean time.
Well That's all for today.. Tomorrow I'm having a few friends over for the shake tasting. Looking forward to it too! Hopefully my friends will think about it, and like it and want to try it as well!
I hope you all have a great rest of the night! Tomorrow will hopefully be more exciting, I am SO TIRED!
God Speed!
Jenn
but by the moments that take our breath away.
~Unknown~
Today was one of the longest days ever! Work, OMG, was not bad, but it was not the greatest either. I can't say that one specific thing happened. It was just an off day. I ended up not being in the best of moods towards the end of the day. I guess that happens sometimes but I especially hate it when I am like that! I love my patients very much and never get impatient with them. They remind me every day how incredibly blessed I am with all that I have in my life.
So, today, I got up early enough to make my shakes for breakfast & lunch. I also had a half salad from Wendy's for lunch. Then for dinner I went to Jd's Tavern and hand chicken fajitas with green peppers! OMG they were awesome! I ended up not eating them in the wraps, I only had 2 in wraps and then I ate the chicken & peppers & put the lettuce & cheese & sour cream on it and ate it like that! It was awesome! I met a really nice guy there. His name is Kevin. He works during the day but he works there at night as a bartender & is a waiter once a week. He has 2 kids and was so incredibly sweet to me, and when I got my check, his business card was in there & I jokingly said, oh, I guess that's a hint that you want my #? He said of course, and made me write my number down. HE was so sweet, he kissed my hand when I went to leave. He kept coming over & talking to Sue & I! It was so fun! He really was a funny guy! He thought I was 35. He is 42. He swore he was older than me, I said, NO, I'm older than you! But at least it's only 2 years.
Well, we'll see if he calls! I'd love to hang out with him, he was that funny. He did invite Sue & I back to have a drink on him next week when he is tending bar, so we may go back. We'll see if I Hear from him in the mean time.
Well That's all for today.. Tomorrow I'm having a few friends over for the shake tasting. Looking forward to it too! Hopefully my friends will think about it, and like it and want to try it as well!
I hope you all have a great rest of the night! Tomorrow will hopefully be more exciting, I am SO TIRED!
God Speed!
Jenn
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
Dale Carnegie
Today..... was a pretty good day. I'll start with my food, then go on to other things. I didn't have breakfast. I had a hot chocolate which I made at work. I slept a little longer than I had planned and didn't have 3 minutes to make my shake or I'd have been late for work. Literally those 3 minutes can make or break my drive in traffic and make me late for work.
I had a grilled chicken sandwich for lunch with some french fries, then for dinner, I had a shake. So it wasn't too bad. I have lost 2 lbs in the last week. Not as much as I had lost doing the no grain, but I hit a plateau and needed a kick start. SO hopefully the longer I am on this, the more I will lose. I'm excited. 2 lbs is better than no lbs. And starting tomorrow, I will be drinking 2 shakes a day. One for breakfast and one for lunch. It really is filling, and I can make it in the morning and put it in one of my cups that keeps things cold & put it in the fridge at work and it will stay like a shake which is awesome.
Now, on to my day. Today I donated blood. I donated what is called Double Red cell donation. It was very rewarding to know that donating my blood will hopefully save lives. Double red cell (or A pheresis)donation is similar to a whole blood donation, except a special machine is used to allow you to safely donate two units of red blood cells during one donation while returning your plasma and platelets to you. Work went quickly because I was donating blood for so long. I was there almost 2 hours. My job had a blood drive today. Originally I was supposed to just donate regular, then I thought, why not try & see if I am able to donate the Double Red. And when they said I qualified for it, I was thrilled!! Not everyone that wanted to was able too because women usually have lower Iron & I usually have. I have been turned away from donating for the last 10 years because my iron was always too low. Since January, when I changed my eating habits & then I started this Body By Vi a week ago, my iron is really good. MY iron level needed to be 13.3 to qualify, mine was 15. Then I had great blood pressure too which was 122/80. I was happy about that too. Especially since I had been taken off blood pressure meds back in March. They did put me on this blood pressure stuff which is actually more a diuretic with the lowest blood pressure dose on the market. I needed whatever is in the blood pressure side of it to keep my potassium up because the water pill was taking too much potassium out of me. Anyway, so I did that & I feel incredibly blessed to have been able too and hopefully I will save a baby, or a cancer patient or a burn victim or trauma patient. I will donate as often as I can.
Well I hope everyone has a great night!
God speed!
Jenn
Monday, July 16, 2012
The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to to break a heart.
So be careful with your words.
I like to start my posts with some kind of quotation. Usually they are right on the money with what I am feeling or what I am going through on that particular day. This one, well it is something I have to think about often, because my words boy, they can be harsh at times, so I REALLY am learning to NOT spit out what is in my head! My Mom has always referred to me as "what ever is on your lung is on your tongue." And I know she was not saying that offensively but yes, that has always been me. I'm honest, what can I Say? But I am learning, really learning to think before I open my mouth! There have been instances where I want to say something to someone and I chose to keep my mouth shut because I want to learn to take the higher road, and it's not that someone is getting over on me, it is that I am choosing to keep my mouth shut, because I'm about to give them a big "WHAT FOR" so I just have decided to say nothing. So don't ever mistake my not commenting to something, as me being afraid, or anything else, it is purely me taking the higher road!
Today was a good food day. I had a shake for breakfast, NO coffee, (I'm trying to cut down on the caffeine), I also had half a protein bar for mid morning snack and then I had some chicken for lunch, and a sweet tea. (Yea not good but not too bad either). And for dinner, I had a cup of left over spaghetti, and I'm having some wine now. So, my calories are not too bad! And tomorrow is a week that I have been on this drink. I don't think I lost my usual 4 lbs that I was losing almost every week. Just a little under as of this morning, but we shall see what it is in the morning.
My SUV is in the shop & I am praying the dealer is going to honor my warranty, but I'm not holding my breath. We shall see! It would be nice since I do have under the 60,000 miles on it. I am sure I mentioned that my warranty expired 3 1/2 months ago & I paid all that money & my warranty expires & my air conditioning compressor explodes from the heat & something is wrong with the gas tank! YAY!!! NOT! So, hopefully I will have an answer tomorrow, but my brother in law & sister loaned me their extra vehicle which I am happy to report even though it's a van, it has air & is fully loaded, although it is a gas guzzler, I am forever grateful that they are loaning it to me so I don't sweat to death on the way to work, since it is hot again!
Well I hope you all have a great evening! I have company arriving soon!
God Speed!
Jenn
So be careful with your words.
I like to start my posts with some kind of quotation. Usually they are right on the money with what I am feeling or what I am going through on that particular day. This one, well it is something I have to think about often, because my words boy, they can be harsh at times, so I REALLY am learning to NOT spit out what is in my head! My Mom has always referred to me as "what ever is on your lung is on your tongue." And I know she was not saying that offensively but yes, that has always been me. I'm honest, what can I Say? But I am learning, really learning to think before I open my mouth! There have been instances where I want to say something to someone and I chose to keep my mouth shut because I want to learn to take the higher road, and it's not that someone is getting over on me, it is that I am choosing to keep my mouth shut, because I'm about to give them a big "WHAT FOR" so I just have decided to say nothing. So don't ever mistake my not commenting to something, as me being afraid, or anything else, it is purely me taking the higher road!
Today was a good food day. I had a shake for breakfast, NO coffee, (I'm trying to cut down on the caffeine), I also had half a protein bar for mid morning snack and then I had some chicken for lunch, and a sweet tea. (Yea not good but not too bad either). And for dinner, I had a cup of left over spaghetti, and I'm having some wine now. So, my calories are not too bad! And tomorrow is a week that I have been on this drink. I don't think I lost my usual 4 lbs that I was losing almost every week. Just a little under as of this morning, but we shall see what it is in the morning.
My SUV is in the shop & I am praying the dealer is going to honor my warranty, but I'm not holding my breath. We shall see! It would be nice since I do have under the 60,000 miles on it. I am sure I mentioned that my warranty expired 3 1/2 months ago & I paid all that money & my warranty expires & my air conditioning compressor explodes from the heat & something is wrong with the gas tank! YAY!!! NOT! So, hopefully I will have an answer tomorrow, but my brother in law & sister loaned me their extra vehicle which I am happy to report even though it's a van, it has air & is fully loaded, although it is a gas guzzler, I am forever grateful that they are loaning it to me so I don't sweat to death on the way to work, since it is hot again!
Well I hope you all have a great evening! I have company arriving soon!
God Speed!
Jenn
Sunday, July 15, 2012
If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
~ Michael Jordan
Well I know I wrote earlier today, but I am writing now, because I am hoping to be in bed early tonight. If all goes according to plan.
Had a very relaxing day. Went to go to the pool with Lexi, and the pool was so crowded there was no where for us to sit or even put our stuff, so we left and went and visited with my Mom & Dad. It had been a while since I had seen them. I always love popping in & visiting them. I'm so blessed to not just have them both, but have them live so close to me.
They are a huge help with Lexi while I am at work, when she needs a ride somewhere or has something to do & I can't do it. It's always appreciated & I hope they know how much I truly appreciate all they do for us.
So how many of us actually try to climb a wall, or go through it, or work around it if you run into one? I know for the most part I do, but sometimes they are easier to just ignore right? or turn around and walk the other way. But that is not always the answer. That is how I Feel about my weight loss, that I've hit a wall, and it was easier to just ignore it, and it would go away. NOT!!! That absolutely did not happen, so now it's time to take the reigns again and really get going. I have done so much better with my eating this week, even though I have not consumed a lot of food. But this coming week will be so much better!!!
Well today was a hot one. When it's this hot, it's hard to be hungry. DID I JUST SAY THAT? Hard to be hungry? Yes, I did... lol I can't eat when it's this hot. I did have 2 cups of coffee today, and then had a chocolate peanut butter shake. That so far is my favorite. Although it's about 300 calories. But it's so good. I had that about 2 O'clock. Yes other than the coffee that was all I had until dinner tonight. I did have spaghetti for dinner. 1 1/2 cups of spaghetti, and some sauce and a piece of garlic bread. I am full, and now will not eat anything the rest of the night. I am really tired from my work out yesterday so I took it easy today. Especially since I hurt my foot while cleaning. The heel of my left foot is swollen. Oh well, I have soaked it, put peroxide on it and put bacatracin & a band aid on it.
I had a friend inbox me on Facebook today, he's a chef and sent me a recipe to make with either chicken or fish. I'm waiting for his ok, so I can share the recipe. It's healthy & that's what matters.
Well since the earlier post was long, this one is going to end now.
Hope you all have an awesome rest of the evening. I'd love any healthy recipes if you'd like to share. Would prefer you shared on here, but inboxing me on FB or emailing me is fine too!
Til Tomorrow!
God speed!
Jenn
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
~ Michael Jordan
Well I know I wrote earlier today, but I am writing now, because I am hoping to be in bed early tonight. If all goes according to plan.
Had a very relaxing day. Went to go to the pool with Lexi, and the pool was so crowded there was no where for us to sit or even put our stuff, so we left and went and visited with my Mom & Dad. It had been a while since I had seen them. I always love popping in & visiting them. I'm so blessed to not just have them both, but have them live so close to me.
They are a huge help with Lexi while I am at work, when she needs a ride somewhere or has something to do & I can't do it. It's always appreciated & I hope they know how much I truly appreciate all they do for us.
So how many of us actually try to climb a wall, or go through it, or work around it if you run into one? I know for the most part I do, but sometimes they are easier to just ignore right? or turn around and walk the other way. But that is not always the answer. That is how I Feel about my weight loss, that I've hit a wall, and it was easier to just ignore it, and it would go away. NOT!!! That absolutely did not happen, so now it's time to take the reigns again and really get going. I have done so much better with my eating this week, even though I have not consumed a lot of food. But this coming week will be so much better!!!
Well today was a hot one. When it's this hot, it's hard to be hungry. DID I JUST SAY THAT? Hard to be hungry? Yes, I did... lol I can't eat when it's this hot. I did have 2 cups of coffee today, and then had a chocolate peanut butter shake. That so far is my favorite. Although it's about 300 calories. But it's so good. I had that about 2 O'clock. Yes other than the coffee that was all I had until dinner tonight. I did have spaghetti for dinner. 1 1/2 cups of spaghetti, and some sauce and a piece of garlic bread. I am full, and now will not eat anything the rest of the night. I am really tired from my work out yesterday so I took it easy today. Especially since I hurt my foot while cleaning. The heel of my left foot is swollen. Oh well, I have soaked it, put peroxide on it and put bacatracin & a band aid on it.
I had a friend inbox me on Facebook today, he's a chef and sent me a recipe to make with either chicken or fish. I'm waiting for his ok, so I can share the recipe. It's healthy & that's what matters.
Well since the earlier post was long, this one is going to end now.
Hope you all have an awesome rest of the evening. I'd love any healthy recipes if you'd like to share. Would prefer you shared on here, but inboxing me on FB or emailing me is fine too!
Til Tomorrow!
God speed!
Jenn
Every tomorrow has two handles.
We can take hold of it with the handle
of anxiety or the handle of faith.
~ Henry Ward Beecher
I had a great night last night with a friend that I have not seen in a good 6 months or so.
I had gone to church last night with the girls and I was so glad I did. It was very deep, but very good. It was called God in a Box. And how we in times of trouble & sadness sometimes blame GOD, and sometimes pull away from him and start to lose faith in times of hurt, disappointment and troubles. When in essence we should grab hold of our faith, and give it over to him. I know for me, that is what I tend to do at times. There are times I grab hold of my faith and go to church every week, and I know that is the right thing for me to do, because I always feel so much better when I go. But since April, I have not gone to church every week. I have gone sporadically because I had so much stuff going on, that I allowed my day to day life, and my depression, keep me from being where I needed to be. I used to tell people, "Ya know, I"m not overly religious, and I don't push my beliefs on people." which I don't, but for me, my relationship with God, is a personal one, and I share it with those that ask. Yes, I pray every day. There are times I pray several times a day. I have people ask me to pray for them, which I absolutely love! Those closest to me, know that going to church, and my relationship with God is very important to me.
So, here's what I learned while listening to last nights sermon about issues, and God using us to learn from our mistakes or pain or teach others. Then WHY do I struggle with my weight? I have beat every other obstacle that God has put before me. I do so well, then I sabotage myself. I write this blog, then at times I stop. I realized last night, that I struggle with my weight because when I start to fall off my path, that I know I want to be on, God wants me to hang on tight to him, and keep on going! HE wants me to learn from others and yet teach others that we are not all perfect. Yes, I know, Jesus died on the cross so that one day when it's our time, I will be perfect in God's eyes, because of that. However, God already knows our path, already knows the suffering we are going to go through, before we even go through it. So, why? Why am I feeling like such a failure with my weight loss journey? I'm not a failure. I fall, I get back up and I start again! I have so many amazing friends & of course my family that have supported me through my endless journey with this issue. I don't write this blog because I want recognition for my hard work, I write it because if one person can learn from my mistakes, or maybe feel like "YAY I AM NOT ALONE" someone else is struggling just like me, than me pouring out my heart on this site at times, will all have been worth it.
I write about my life, because I don't live a perfect life. I make mistakes, and some of them are HUGE!!! Some of them are mistakes I know before I put both feet out & jump into the water, that I shouldn't even attempt to do it. But I do, because I am human, I am not perfect. I Make mistakes, and it's awesome to see who is there after I have jumped and land on my ASS in the water. And sometimes it's shocking to see who actually is not there at the bottom. Sometimes those are the hardest to adjust too. And then, when I emerge from the water and see who is not standing there, I beat myself up because I have maybe made a bad choice, or whatever the reason. I am a "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET" Kind of girl. I NO LONGER care if people like me, because my circle of friends is enough for me. I am always open to making new friends, and I welcome them too. I am a friend for life, if you want me to be, but if you don't, that's ok too. I'm learning that God brings people into our lives for as long as they're supposed to be there. And when they go, yes, some loss of friendships have been hard to lose, while others that I never expected to be awesome friends, are the ones that stick around. I am grateful for each and every one of my friends. Each and every one of them have taught me something. Some have taught me, that well, I don't want to have them in my life because I deserve to be treated better, and Good riddance, and I am glad you taught me what I don't want in my life, and then their are those that have blessed my life, more than they could ever know.
Well I hadn't planned on writing so much today. I figured I'd write a short one since I didn't write last night, and then write more tonight. So, maybe tonight's will be short? Who knows...
Yesterday I had a shake and coffee in the morning, well more like around 12:30, then for I didn't eat anything until dinner which I had a teriyaki burger wrapped in lettuce with grilled pineapple on it, and I had gluten free french fries. Oh, let's not forget the Blue Moon with orange that I had, and then a glass of wine once we got home and my friend & I chatted & hung out for hours. It's always so great to kick back and relax and visit with friends. Especially those that mean so much to us.
I really wanted to have another shake yesterday late afternoon, but I had to rush to get ready to go to church because I had a side job yesterday and worked out for almost 4 hours. I,of course hurt my back, cause when the heck will I ever learn? Oh well, I'm glad I went to church, and glad I got to spend time with my friend.
I will be back later tonight to write about today.
Hope you all have a great day! And remember We are all here to learn from each other and we may even teach people things. Take what you want from my blog, and leave the rest!
God Speed!
Jenn
We can take hold of it with the handle
of anxiety or the handle of faith.
~ Henry Ward Beecher
I had a great night last night with a friend that I have not seen in a good 6 months or so.
I had gone to church last night with the girls and I was so glad I did. It was very deep, but very good. It was called God in a Box. And how we in times of trouble & sadness sometimes blame GOD, and sometimes pull away from him and start to lose faith in times of hurt, disappointment and troubles. When in essence we should grab hold of our faith, and give it over to him. I know for me, that is what I tend to do at times. There are times I grab hold of my faith and go to church every week, and I know that is the right thing for me to do, because I always feel so much better when I go. But since April, I have not gone to church every week. I have gone sporadically because I had so much stuff going on, that I allowed my day to day life, and my depression, keep me from being where I needed to be. I used to tell people, "Ya know, I"m not overly religious, and I don't push my beliefs on people." which I don't, but for me, my relationship with God, is a personal one, and I share it with those that ask. Yes, I pray every day. There are times I pray several times a day. I have people ask me to pray for them, which I absolutely love! Those closest to me, know that going to church, and my relationship with God is very important to me.
So, here's what I learned while listening to last nights sermon about issues, and God using us to learn from our mistakes or pain or teach others. Then WHY do I struggle with my weight? I have beat every other obstacle that God has put before me. I do so well, then I sabotage myself. I write this blog, then at times I stop. I realized last night, that I struggle with my weight because when I start to fall off my path, that I know I want to be on, God wants me to hang on tight to him, and keep on going! HE wants me to learn from others and yet teach others that we are not all perfect. Yes, I know, Jesus died on the cross so that one day when it's our time, I will be perfect in God's eyes, because of that. However, God already knows our path, already knows the suffering we are going to go through, before we even go through it. So, why? Why am I feeling like such a failure with my weight loss journey? I'm not a failure. I fall, I get back up and I start again! I have so many amazing friends & of course my family that have supported me through my endless journey with this issue. I don't write this blog because I want recognition for my hard work, I write it because if one person can learn from my mistakes, or maybe feel like "YAY I AM NOT ALONE" someone else is struggling just like me, than me pouring out my heart on this site at times, will all have been worth it.
I write about my life, because I don't live a perfect life. I make mistakes, and some of them are HUGE!!! Some of them are mistakes I know before I put both feet out & jump into the water, that I shouldn't even attempt to do it. But I do, because I am human, I am not perfect. I Make mistakes, and it's awesome to see who is there after I have jumped and land on my ASS in the water. And sometimes it's shocking to see who actually is not there at the bottom. Sometimes those are the hardest to adjust too. And then, when I emerge from the water and see who is not standing there, I beat myself up because I have maybe made a bad choice, or whatever the reason. I am a "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET" Kind of girl. I NO LONGER care if people like me, because my circle of friends is enough for me. I am always open to making new friends, and I welcome them too. I am a friend for life, if you want me to be, but if you don't, that's ok too. I'm learning that God brings people into our lives for as long as they're supposed to be there. And when they go, yes, some loss of friendships have been hard to lose, while others that I never expected to be awesome friends, are the ones that stick around. I am grateful for each and every one of my friends. Each and every one of them have taught me something. Some have taught me, that well, I don't want to have them in my life because I deserve to be treated better, and Good riddance, and I am glad you taught me what I don't want in my life, and then their are those that have blessed my life, more than they could ever know.
Well I hadn't planned on writing so much today. I figured I'd write a short one since I didn't write last night, and then write more tonight. So, maybe tonight's will be short? Who knows...
Yesterday I had a shake and coffee in the morning, well more like around 12:30, then for I didn't eat anything until dinner which I had a teriyaki burger wrapped in lettuce with grilled pineapple on it, and I had gluten free french fries. Oh, let's not forget the Blue Moon with orange that I had, and then a glass of wine once we got home and my friend & I chatted & hung out for hours. It's always so great to kick back and relax and visit with friends. Especially those that mean so much to us.
I really wanted to have another shake yesterday late afternoon, but I had to rush to get ready to go to church because I had a side job yesterday and worked out for almost 4 hours. I,of course hurt my back, cause when the heck will I ever learn? Oh well, I'm glad I went to church, and glad I got to spend time with my friend.
I will be back later tonight to write about today.
Hope you all have a great day! And remember We are all here to learn from each other and we may even teach people things. Take what you want from my blog, and leave the rest!
God Speed!
Jenn
Friday, July 13, 2012
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. ~ Plato
So, today is Friday the 13th! I can't believe I had a good day! Work was ok! Nothing major happened. Which is always good! I actually got a new prescriber (doctor) and I did everything I could to get his business. Which was a great thing! He was really awesome and it made me realize that some doctors really can be very appreciative, which most of our doctors are. It was great to help and go the extra mile to get someone to use our pharmacy. He will be back, that's for sure.
Lexi & I went & picked Amber up from the airport tonight! Amber is her best friend & they are like sisters it's crazy! It reminds me of my best friend Christine that I grew up with! We have always been like that, and time between will never change that! She has been my best friend since I am 5 years old. We both have other friends in our lives, other "Best Friends" but there is "A BUBBLE we have around us" as she has explained it to me, that no one will ever understand or get! It's more like sisters, Like Lexi & Amber. I love to watch them! I remember when Chris & I were 14 & 15. That is Amber & Lexi's age, Amber being just a few months older! Chris & I were 17 months apart, and she is older than me! ( HA HA CHRIS, you will ALWAYS BE OLDER THAN ME!). We go a few years without seeing each other sometimes because she lives in NY & I Live in NC, but that doesn't matter, we talk sometimes on the phone, but not often enough. But still I smile when I think of her! We have had many fond memories through the years.
Well today was a good day with my food. For breakfast I had my shake, I made a strawberry one, then for lunch I had some grilled chicken & rice at the Mexican restaurant where I went to lunch with several of my friends from work. I only ate half of it & left the other half. Then tonight for dinner, I had a rib eye steak & some rice. Now I'm sitting here having a glass of wine. Trying to relax. So looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow!!! YAY!!!
No drama in my life today, the guy that has my heart, well I heard from him today, I hear from him every day but after my tantrum yesterday, I figured It would be a few days before I heard from him, but he knows how I get, and I am definitely feeling better. He has been in a funk too, so I guess I am not alone. He gets introverted, and while I get introverted, I cry a lot. That's the hormonal woman in me! What can I say.
I will say, if you take medicine for depression or anxiety or anything like that, DO NOT stop taking them, or change your dose without your doctor knowing. Especially if they are time release because boy can they wreck havoc on your mind & your heart & all kinds of other feelings.
I got to see my best guy friend Joe tonight! GOD I HAVE MISSED HIM! He is my light! He always knows when I need a big hug and he has been away for 3 weeks! And I told him tonight when I was crying because I have missed him so much & I told him he is not ever allowed to leave me for that long again! I'm so used to him coming by every other weekend if not every weekend, I have truly missed him. He knew just by looking at me that something was off with me. That's a best friend! I can't wait to hear all about his trip to Hawaii & California, but all he wanted to talk about was me, and what's on my mind & heart! I love you Joe! You are an amazing friend to me!!!! I am keeping you around forever!!! Any man in my life will have to understand our friendship, or they aren't sticking around! LOL
Ok, well on that note, I tried to finish before midnight, for it to be Friday's post, and it's 12:07am, so it's technically Saturday! But I still wanted to write tonight, because part of my commitment to writing the blog again was to keep me on track & accountable, not to anyone else but myself!
I hope you all have a great rest of the evening! I'll be back tomorrow!
God Speed!
Jenn
So, today is Friday the 13th! I can't believe I had a good day! Work was ok! Nothing major happened. Which is always good! I actually got a new prescriber (doctor) and I did everything I could to get his business. Which was a great thing! He was really awesome and it made me realize that some doctors really can be very appreciative, which most of our doctors are. It was great to help and go the extra mile to get someone to use our pharmacy. He will be back, that's for sure.
Lexi & I went & picked Amber up from the airport tonight! Amber is her best friend & they are like sisters it's crazy! It reminds me of my best friend Christine that I grew up with! We have always been like that, and time between will never change that! She has been my best friend since I am 5 years old. We both have other friends in our lives, other "Best Friends" but there is "A BUBBLE we have around us" as she has explained it to me, that no one will ever understand or get! It's more like sisters, Like Lexi & Amber. I love to watch them! I remember when Chris & I were 14 & 15. That is Amber & Lexi's age, Amber being just a few months older! Chris & I were 17 months apart, and she is older than me! ( HA HA CHRIS, you will ALWAYS BE OLDER THAN ME!). We go a few years without seeing each other sometimes because she lives in NY & I Live in NC, but that doesn't matter, we talk sometimes on the phone, but not often enough. But still I smile when I think of her! We have had many fond memories through the years.
Well today was a good day with my food. For breakfast I had my shake, I made a strawberry one, then for lunch I had some grilled chicken & rice at the Mexican restaurant where I went to lunch with several of my friends from work. I only ate half of it & left the other half. Then tonight for dinner, I had a rib eye steak & some rice. Now I'm sitting here having a glass of wine. Trying to relax. So looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow!!! YAY!!!
No drama in my life today, the guy that has my heart, well I heard from him today, I hear from him every day but after my tantrum yesterday, I figured It would be a few days before I heard from him, but he knows how I get, and I am definitely feeling better. He has been in a funk too, so I guess I am not alone. He gets introverted, and while I get introverted, I cry a lot. That's the hormonal woman in me! What can I say.
I will say, if you take medicine for depression or anxiety or anything like that, DO NOT stop taking them, or change your dose without your doctor knowing. Especially if they are time release because boy can they wreck havoc on your mind & your heart & all kinds of other feelings.
I got to see my best guy friend Joe tonight! GOD I HAVE MISSED HIM! He is my light! He always knows when I need a big hug and he has been away for 3 weeks! And I told him tonight when I was crying because I have missed him so much & I told him he is not ever allowed to leave me for that long again! I'm so used to him coming by every other weekend if not every weekend, I have truly missed him. He knew just by looking at me that something was off with me. That's a best friend! I can't wait to hear all about his trip to Hawaii & California, but all he wanted to talk about was me, and what's on my mind & heart! I love you Joe! You are an amazing friend to me!!!! I am keeping you around forever!!! Any man in my life will have to understand our friendship, or they aren't sticking around! LOL
Ok, well on that note, I tried to finish before midnight, for it to be Friday's post, and it's 12:07am, so it's technically Saturday! But I still wanted to write tonight, because part of my commitment to writing the blog again was to keep me on track & accountable, not to anyone else but myself!
I hope you all have a great rest of the evening! I'll be back tomorrow!
God Speed!
Jenn
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Sometimes we're all too quick to count down the days, that we forget to make the days count.
I saw that on a facebook picture and decided that I wanted to write about that today, especially after the day I had.
I am always the one who looks forward to Friday by Tuesday or Wednesday, that there are times, I forget to "Stop & smell the roses".
Today, I woke up with a killer migraine, and those of you who know me, know that I have had only one migraine since I had my spinal leak back in March. It was so bad today. I took my migraine medicine, and then 2 hours later took another one, then an hour after that I took 2 Excedrin Migraine pills. My friend Julie checked with a pharmacist at work, to make sure it was ok to take it on top of my migraine medicine. I can only take 2 pills in 2 hours and then not again for 24 hours which totally stinks. IT didn't help which is rare, because it always helped before, the Excedrin migraine didn't help either, but Julie got me a Dr. Pepper, in hopes that the caffeine would help me. That helped a little, I still have my migraine. I'm going to go to sleep in a little while, but I wanted to write my blog for the night.
I cried my eyes out today. I discovered that although I was taking my medicine for my depression, I was taking 2 50 mg pills that are time released and instead of taking 1 in the morning, and 1 in the later part of the day, I have been taking both in the morning! OMG, I had no idea, I'd get over loaded in the morning, and nothing the rest of the day! UGH! Needless to say, YAY for getting my 100 mg pills yesterday that I was able to start today! So hopefully by tomorrow I will be back to normal! I have been so sad, and depressed and oh just a mess! I have said things, that I would not have said had my hormones
not been out of whack. My loved ones understand and are very forgiving, and well, I hope they have all been forgiving, I guess I'll know later tonight if the one I emailed things too, if he forgives me! He's awesome and usually knows to ignore me when I get like this, and understands that I can't help it. I get very insecure and just beat up on myself! But I should be back to myself hopefully by tomorrow when I wake up!
So, today, my food stunk. All I ate today because I was nauseous, was a 1/2 protein bar mid morning. For lunch I had a salad with grilled chicken in it. And have had nothing else but water all day! I'm sick to my stomach and hope that by morning I'll be able to swallow my shake! I couldn't even swallow the shake this morning! :-( But that is mainly because of my migraine.
I have to say, I am so excited that I may only have 7 or 8 followers, but I Have had as high as 95 page views in a day, and run a consistent of at least 30 something each day that I write. I don't really keep track of that, but I happen to scope out the site for the blog to see what all I could access. So, I was glad I saw that. I am really only writing this to make myself accountable. But I am glad that I have so many people that read this, and also, glad that I get so many people who email me to show their support! I know it's hard to comment on here because you have to be a member to do that.
Oh, so yesterday I wrote about a friend and I was maybe a little harsh. Well I was a lot harsh. I miss my friend terribly. I can't tell him, because I think he will think something else, when honestly, I just miss my friend and the way he made me feel! He made me smile all the time. Every time I talked to him, I was so grateful that he was my friend. The loss of this friend has hurt me terribly. And no matter what the reason, I will cherish the friendship we had. But I so, want to tell him how hurt I am. I honestly don't think he'd care! I really don't!
I have tried to email him so many times to say "Hey Friend, I miss you" and "I Miss the friendship we had" but I am afraid if I did send him the emails, he'd reject me. And then there is a part of me that wants to say to him, "HEY You have no idea how hurt I am!!" But regardless, he has his own life, and his own "Stuff" but if he ever reads this, I hope "HE" knows I am talking about him and if nothing else, I so miss our friendship & the fact that he accepted me for who I was & let me be me, even when he at times shook his head like I was crazy! He made me laugh all the time & made my life better just by being in it! So friend, I'm sorry for whatever has happened between us and I wish you nothing but the best in all you do! And I was so glad to have you as my friend!!
I'm so stubborn when I am hurt. It's easier for me to ignore someone and not be as friendly which is so hard for me, because I am so not like that!
Ugh, well before I get all mushy on here, I'm going to go!
I will write more tomorrow and I will have more to eat & write about!
Well I hope you all have a great evening!
God speed!
Jenn
I saw that on a facebook picture and decided that I wanted to write about that today, especially after the day I had.
I am always the one who looks forward to Friday by Tuesday or Wednesday, that there are times, I forget to "Stop & smell the roses".
Today, I woke up with a killer migraine, and those of you who know me, know that I have had only one migraine since I had my spinal leak back in March. It was so bad today. I took my migraine medicine, and then 2 hours later took another one, then an hour after that I took 2 Excedrin Migraine pills. My friend Julie checked with a pharmacist at work, to make sure it was ok to take it on top of my migraine medicine. I can only take 2 pills in 2 hours and then not again for 24 hours which totally stinks. IT didn't help which is rare, because it always helped before, the Excedrin migraine didn't help either, but Julie got me a Dr. Pepper, in hopes that the caffeine would help me. That helped a little, I still have my migraine. I'm going to go to sleep in a little while, but I wanted to write my blog for the night.
I cried my eyes out today. I discovered that although I was taking my medicine for my depression, I was taking 2 50 mg pills that are time released and instead of taking 1 in the morning, and 1 in the later part of the day, I have been taking both in the morning! OMG, I had no idea, I'd get over loaded in the morning, and nothing the rest of the day! UGH! Needless to say, YAY for getting my 100 mg pills yesterday that I was able to start today! So hopefully by tomorrow I will be back to normal! I have been so sad, and depressed and oh just a mess! I have said things, that I would not have said had my hormones
not been out of whack. My loved ones understand and are very forgiving, and well, I hope they have all been forgiving, I guess I'll know later tonight if the one I emailed things too, if he forgives me! He's awesome and usually knows to ignore me when I get like this, and understands that I can't help it. I get very insecure and just beat up on myself! But I should be back to myself hopefully by tomorrow when I wake up!
So, today, my food stunk. All I ate today because I was nauseous, was a 1/2 protein bar mid morning. For lunch I had a salad with grilled chicken in it. And have had nothing else but water all day! I'm sick to my stomach and hope that by morning I'll be able to swallow my shake! I couldn't even swallow the shake this morning! :-( But that is mainly because of my migraine.
I have to say, I am so excited that I may only have 7 or 8 followers, but I Have had as high as 95 page views in a day, and run a consistent of at least 30 something each day that I write. I don't really keep track of that, but I happen to scope out the site for the blog to see what all I could access. So, I was glad I saw that. I am really only writing this to make myself accountable. But I am glad that I have so many people that read this, and also, glad that I get so many people who email me to show their support! I know it's hard to comment on here because you have to be a member to do that.
Oh, so yesterday I wrote about a friend and I was maybe a little harsh. Well I was a lot harsh. I miss my friend terribly. I can't tell him, because I think he will think something else, when honestly, I just miss my friend and the way he made me feel! He made me smile all the time. Every time I talked to him, I was so grateful that he was my friend. The loss of this friend has hurt me terribly. And no matter what the reason, I will cherish the friendship we had. But I so, want to tell him how hurt I am. I honestly don't think he'd care! I really don't!
I have tried to email him so many times to say "Hey Friend, I miss you" and "I Miss the friendship we had" but I am afraid if I did send him the emails, he'd reject me. And then there is a part of me that wants to say to him, "HEY You have no idea how hurt I am!!" But regardless, he has his own life, and his own "Stuff" but if he ever reads this, I hope "HE" knows I am talking about him and if nothing else, I so miss our friendship & the fact that he accepted me for who I was & let me be me, even when he at times shook his head like I was crazy! He made me laugh all the time & made my life better just by being in it! So friend, I'm sorry for whatever has happened between us and I wish you nothing but the best in all you do! And I was so glad to have you as my friend!!
I'm so stubborn when I am hurt. It's easier for me to ignore someone and not be as friendly which is so hard for me, because I am so not like that!
Ugh, well before I get all mushy on here, I'm going to go!
I will write more tomorrow and I will have more to eat & write about!
Well I hope you all have a great evening!
God speed!
Jenn
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Today, I choose the higher road -
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today and well many days I choose the higher road, because I could definitely be a witch if I wanted too, but I have tried to be a better person as I have gotten older. Some days it's so hard. I really want to tell some people how I really feel. But because my Mom always taught me, if you have "NOTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!" So, as hard as it is for me, I am so learning how to do that! NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL! WOW, ME! YES!!!!
I have been going through some major stuff the last few months. I lost someone close to me, not lost like death, but lost like, we no longer really talk. And as hard as it is for me not to talk to him like I used too. I have decided that I can no longer beat myself up & sabotage myself because I feel bad. That is something I have always done! I blame myself when something in a friendship doesn't work out! Then I realized, that ya know what? If I was his friend at all, he'd have cared enough about me, to be honest with me. Ummmm yea, be honest! I pride myself on being honest with people, but I have not told him how I really feel & how hurt I am that he just threw our friendship away. But that is his choice and I will NEVER beg anyone to be my friend! End of story!!! I can love my friends & do anything for anyone I Care about, but cross me, hurt me, and I am like my dad, I can cut someone out of my life and act like I don't care, when in essence I do, it's my defense mechanism! It's how I protect myself! But I realized with this friend, he reminded me of a guy from my past, a guy who was my best friend, that I shared everything with, and I know I expected way too much from this friendship, but he also let me feel like I could trust him, so I did, and now like I said, we barely speak! Unless we have too, or unless we pass each other! It's hard when you see someone most every day!!! UGH!!!
Today, I decided NO MORE! I am going to try to not feel bad, try to not continue to sabotage myself, I need to look at myself in the mirror and know that I did nothing wrong, and keep going! Get back on track and put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going. I'm not nor have I ever let one person ruin all my hard work! So I am refocused and getting stronger, and will get stronger every day!
I had my shake this morning, which I made with the lite/low sugar chocolate, and peanut butter, it held me from 7am until lunchtime at 1:30 when I Finally sat down to eat! Then I ate a salad with grilled chicken in it. Then during the day I had half a protein bar. Went to dinner and had half a chicken cutlet, and half a portion of spaghetti. I also did eat a canoli! I promised myself if I wanted something, I would eat it. Just not over eat things! I Think because I cut EVERYTHING out, that it made it so hard for me to stay on it when life got tough!
Well I am tired, and heading to bed. Going to finish my glass of wine, then call it a night!
Hope you all have had an awesome evening!
God speed!
Jenn
the path of charity, acceptance, love, selflessness, kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today and well many days I choose the higher road, because I could definitely be a witch if I wanted too, but I have tried to be a better person as I have gotten older. Some days it's so hard. I really want to tell some people how I really feel. But because my Mom always taught me, if you have "NOTHING NICE TO SAY, DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!" So, as hard as it is for me, I am so learning how to do that! NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL! WOW, ME! YES!!!!
I have been going through some major stuff the last few months. I lost someone close to me, not lost like death, but lost like, we no longer really talk. And as hard as it is for me not to talk to him like I used too. I have decided that I can no longer beat myself up & sabotage myself because I feel bad. That is something I have always done! I blame myself when something in a friendship doesn't work out! Then I realized, that ya know what? If I was his friend at all, he'd have cared enough about me, to be honest with me. Ummmm yea, be honest! I pride myself on being honest with people, but I have not told him how I really feel & how hurt I am that he just threw our friendship away. But that is his choice and I will NEVER beg anyone to be my friend! End of story!!! I can love my friends & do anything for anyone I Care about, but cross me, hurt me, and I am like my dad, I can cut someone out of my life and act like I don't care, when in essence I do, it's my defense mechanism! It's how I protect myself! But I realized with this friend, he reminded me of a guy from my past, a guy who was my best friend, that I shared everything with, and I know I expected way too much from this friendship, but he also let me feel like I could trust him, so I did, and now like I said, we barely speak! Unless we have too, or unless we pass each other! It's hard when you see someone most every day!!! UGH!!!
Today, I decided NO MORE! I am going to try to not feel bad, try to not continue to sabotage myself, I need to look at myself in the mirror and know that I did nothing wrong, and keep going! Get back on track and put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going. I'm not nor have I ever let one person ruin all my hard work! So I am refocused and getting stronger, and will get stronger every day!
I had my shake this morning, which I made with the lite/low sugar chocolate, and peanut butter, it held me from 7am until lunchtime at 1:30 when I Finally sat down to eat! Then I ate a salad with grilled chicken in it. Then during the day I had half a protein bar. Went to dinner and had half a chicken cutlet, and half a portion of spaghetti. I also did eat a canoli! I promised myself if I wanted something, I would eat it. Just not over eat things! I Think because I cut EVERYTHING out, that it made it so hard for me to stay on it when life got tough!
Well I am tired, and heading to bed. Going to finish my glass of wine, then call it a night!
Hope you all have had an awesome evening!
God speed!
Jenn
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
One must know not just how to accept a gift,
but with what grace to share it.
Maya Angelou
How often do we get a gift that we have a hard time accepting it? We get embarrassed because a gift is unexpected. A "Thank You" is the appropriate thing to say! Just like when someone pays us a compliment, how often do we retreat within ourselves instead of just saying "Thank you". I know I have a hard time accepting some peoples kindness. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop or waiting for them to want something in return. When all I need to say is "Thank you".
SO Thank you my friends, for coming here to support me on this endless battle, that one day I am hoping to finally beat! I will get there, it just takes a lot of "Stumbling" as my friend Mary Ann says. When we stumble there is nothing more special then looking up & seeing that friend reaching for your hand to help you up! OR in the case of many of my friends, being so far away, their words of encouragement are that hand that reaches out to help me.
I have such a hard time in asking for help from anyone, because I have failed time after time with this battle. I have let so many things get in my way, and they are excuses and it's so hard not to just give in when I am doing well and then a stumbling block gets in the way!
For instance, today was a really BAD DAY! I didn't get my delivery for my shakes yesterday, so I skipped breakfast, and just had coffee! I know bad! Then I had to drop my car at the shop and my day was so bad, I had a chicken salad wrap for lunch and I'm still so stressed out, that I have not had dinner. I am so stressed, I am not even hungry.
I am happy to say, my shakes are here, and I will be 100% on my shakes tomorrow! So, so excited!!! Can NOT wait! I think a few of my friends are going to start too, which will be awesome, we can support each other and do it together! Especially a few of my coworkers! SO very excited. I know once I start seeing a loss, I will feel better. Having hit this plateau even while exercising and then gaining 5 lbs while doing all this has been a hard blow. It just goes to show that I really need to pay attention to what goes in my mouth! I need to forgive myself for the 5 lb gain and bounce back and go forward! Ok, so here I am moving on!
I look forward to working really hard again, and getting back on track with more of the no grain and my protein shakes as meal supplements, for the meals I tend to skip!
I hope you all have a great evening.
God Speed!
Jenn
but with what grace to share it.
Maya Angelou
How often do we get a gift that we have a hard time accepting it? We get embarrassed because a gift is unexpected. A "Thank You" is the appropriate thing to say! Just like when someone pays us a compliment, how often do we retreat within ourselves instead of just saying "Thank you". I know I have a hard time accepting some peoples kindness. I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop or waiting for them to want something in return. When all I need to say is "Thank you".
SO Thank you my friends, for coming here to support me on this endless battle, that one day I am hoping to finally beat! I will get there, it just takes a lot of "Stumbling" as my friend Mary Ann says. When we stumble there is nothing more special then looking up & seeing that friend reaching for your hand to help you up! OR in the case of many of my friends, being so far away, their words of encouragement are that hand that reaches out to help me.
I have such a hard time in asking for help from anyone, because I have failed time after time with this battle. I have let so many things get in my way, and they are excuses and it's so hard not to just give in when I am doing well and then a stumbling block gets in the way!
For instance, today was a really BAD DAY! I didn't get my delivery for my shakes yesterday, so I skipped breakfast, and just had coffee! I know bad! Then I had to drop my car at the shop and my day was so bad, I had a chicken salad wrap for lunch and I'm still so stressed out, that I have not had dinner. I am so stressed, I am not even hungry.
I am happy to say, my shakes are here, and I will be 100% on my shakes tomorrow! So, so excited!!! Can NOT wait! I think a few of my friends are going to start too, which will be awesome, we can support each other and do it together! Especially a few of my coworkers! SO very excited. I know once I start seeing a loss, I will feel better. Having hit this plateau even while exercising and then gaining 5 lbs while doing all this has been a hard blow. It just goes to show that I really need to pay attention to what goes in my mouth! I need to forgive myself for the 5 lb gain and bounce back and go forward! Ok, so here I am moving on!
I look forward to working really hard again, and getting back on track with more of the no grain and my protein shakes as meal supplements, for the meals I tend to skip!
I hope you all have a great evening.
God Speed!
Jenn
Monday, July 9, 2012
Yesterday is history,
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
Anonymous
Well it has been a while since I have been on here.I'm committing to do it every day again!
SO many things have happened lately. Lexi went away to summer camp for 5 days. And although I loved having "MY TIME" I truly missed her! I forget how much we do together and I need to make a point to tell her how much I appreciate her and all that we do together.
I still talk to Donnie & am looking forward to meeting him in the near future.Both our lives have been so busy, that we just can't get it together to meet. But when we are supposed to meet, we will.
I was talking with my parents recently and we were talking about one of my cousins who found her love later in life & how happy she is. I truly believe that I know my soul mate, I know who I will grow old with, who I want to grow old with. There are some obstacles right now that keep us from being together full time, one being distance, but we're working on it. I think back to several years ago, when my aunt who was dying of breast cancer, described this man to me and I had no idea who she was talking about. She said I have known him my whole life, described him to a "T" and I had no idea at the time who she was talking about. She said that there will be obstacles in our lives that will try to get into the way, but to have faith, keep the faith and know that anything worth having, sometimes we have to fight for. I still could NOT figure out who she was talking about. A few years later, this person came back into my life from my childhood, and it still didn't connect until one day it was like a light switch flipped on. I have shared that with him, it's kind of funny in a way. We both feel like eventually our love will bring us together forever. It's just work, and our distance like I Said that has kept us apart for right now. So we shall see where life goes for us. But one thing I will no longer do, is be 2nd choice to anyone. You either want me, or you don't! Not at your convenience, not after anyone else (aside from our kids). I want to be at the top of th elist, not the bottom of the list. And if I can't be that with anyone, then I am better off alone, I will NO Longer accept anything less!!!!
I have had such issues with sabotaging myself my entire life and of course, when life got tough for me a few months ago, I started to "Fall off the wagon" with my eating. Not 100% but a big part of it. I for some reason always feel like I deserve to be second choice, or last when it comes to where I fit in someones life, or even my own. I could go on & on with excuses. And really, I only have myself to blame. I was doing great, lost 45 lbs and was so proud, started getting way too much attention for it, and BAM, I started retreating back to some of my old ways.
So, recently a few people have mentioned to me about trying Body by Vi, and I decided at the time it wasn't for me, it was not what I wanted. But since I am a meal skipper, I decided to give it a try. My friend Sharon started it, and we talked and she invited me over to her home to a "taste testing" and let me tell you, this is by far the best Shake mix I have ever tried. And Lord knows I have tried a lot.
IT is a protein shake and will give me all that I need throughout the day to keep me going. I am very excited with today being my first day on it. I was hoping to have 2 shakes today but THANK YOU UPS, they didn't deliver my product, so I could only have one shake this morning, so I had a protein bar for mid morning snack, a salad with cucumbers, cheese, and a little bit of chicken in it with salad dressing. YUM that was good & for a snack with lunch I did have some watermelon. For dinner I am having a chicken salad made with low fat cream cheese, hot sauce, lime juice & some cheese & I will put it in a wrap. I am going to keep my grains down, and I am going to really work hard. Thank God I have been working out on a work challenge because I probably would have gained more than 5 lbs back! Thank God, I caught myself now, and not when I had gained a lot more back too.
I am very excited. I am hoping my shipment will arrive tomorrow so I can do 2 shakes but that will probably not happen until Wednesday since I know I won't get a shipment before 7am.
So, I will not only have this blog that I am accountable for, I will have a website, which I have not fully navigated around yet, and I will share recipes, and all kinds of stuff on here.
I hope you will consider sharing some of your low carb, low calorie, healthy recipes with me. I welcome them all!
SO, Here I start my journey with Body by Vi along with my friend Sharon, and new Friends Curtis & Angie. So very excited. The support is there and there are so many reasons to be happy. Life as I know it has changed.
And along with my change in diet and my lifestyle change with everything about me. You will continue to see a lot less of me. I am going to beat this weight issue I have. ONCE & FOR ALL! So I hope you will join me, or support me, and encourage me along the way!!!
When I am done, I'm going to have the body I have wanted for years!!!!
I'll be back tomorrow!!!
God Speed!
Jenn
tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called Present.
Anonymous
Well it has been a while since I have been on here.I'm committing to do it every day again!
SO many things have happened lately. Lexi went away to summer camp for 5 days. And although I loved having "MY TIME" I truly missed her! I forget how much we do together and I need to make a point to tell her how much I appreciate her and all that we do together.
I still talk to Donnie & am looking forward to meeting him in the near future.Both our lives have been so busy, that we just can't get it together to meet. But when we are supposed to meet, we will.
I was talking with my parents recently and we were talking about one of my cousins who found her love later in life & how happy she is. I truly believe that I know my soul mate, I know who I will grow old with, who I want to grow old with. There are some obstacles right now that keep us from being together full time, one being distance, but we're working on it. I think back to several years ago, when my aunt who was dying of breast cancer, described this man to me and I had no idea who she was talking about. She said I have known him my whole life, described him to a "T" and I had no idea at the time who she was talking about. She said that there will be obstacles in our lives that will try to get into the way, but to have faith, keep the faith and know that anything worth having, sometimes we have to fight for. I still could NOT figure out who she was talking about. A few years later, this person came back into my life from my childhood, and it still didn't connect until one day it was like a light switch flipped on. I have shared that with him, it's kind of funny in a way. We both feel like eventually our love will bring us together forever. It's just work, and our distance like I Said that has kept us apart for right now. So we shall see where life goes for us. But one thing I will no longer do, is be 2nd choice to anyone. You either want me, or you don't! Not at your convenience, not after anyone else (aside from our kids). I want to be at the top of th elist, not the bottom of the list. And if I can't be that with anyone, then I am better off alone, I will NO Longer accept anything less!!!!
I have had such issues with sabotaging myself my entire life and of course, when life got tough for me a few months ago, I started to "Fall off the wagon" with my eating. Not 100% but a big part of it. I for some reason always feel like I deserve to be second choice, or last when it comes to where I fit in someones life, or even my own. I could go on & on with excuses. And really, I only have myself to blame. I was doing great, lost 45 lbs and was so proud, started getting way too much attention for it, and BAM, I started retreating back to some of my old ways.
So, recently a few people have mentioned to me about trying Body by Vi, and I decided at the time it wasn't for me, it was not what I wanted. But since I am a meal skipper, I decided to give it a try. My friend Sharon started it, and we talked and she invited me over to her home to a "taste testing" and let me tell you, this is by far the best Shake mix I have ever tried. And Lord knows I have tried a lot.
IT is a protein shake and will give me all that I need throughout the day to keep me going. I am very excited with today being my first day on it. I was hoping to have 2 shakes today but THANK YOU UPS, they didn't deliver my product, so I could only have one shake this morning, so I had a protein bar for mid morning snack, a salad with cucumbers, cheese, and a little bit of chicken in it with salad dressing. YUM that was good & for a snack with lunch I did have some watermelon. For dinner I am having a chicken salad made with low fat cream cheese, hot sauce, lime juice & some cheese & I will put it in a wrap. I am going to keep my grains down, and I am going to really work hard. Thank God I have been working out on a work challenge because I probably would have gained more than 5 lbs back! Thank God, I caught myself now, and not when I had gained a lot more back too.
I am very excited. I am hoping my shipment will arrive tomorrow so I can do 2 shakes but that will probably not happen until Wednesday since I know I won't get a shipment before 7am.
So, I will not only have this blog that I am accountable for, I will have a website, which I have not fully navigated around yet, and I will share recipes, and all kinds of stuff on here.
I hope you will consider sharing some of your low carb, low calorie, healthy recipes with me. I welcome them all!
SO, Here I start my journey with Body by Vi along with my friend Sharon, and new Friends Curtis & Angie. So very excited. The support is there and there are so many reasons to be happy. Life as I know it has changed.
And along with my change in diet and my lifestyle change with everything about me. You will continue to see a lot less of me. I am going to beat this weight issue I have. ONCE & FOR ALL! So I hope you will join me, or support me, and encourage me along the way!!!
When I am done, I'm going to have the body I have wanted for years!!!!
I'll be back tomorrow!!!
God Speed!
Jenn
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